My greatest accomplishment this year is surviving a nauseating soul, life changing breakthrough. One of the common causes of nausea is and infection of the stomach, a stomach bug. I went through 2014 feeling nauseous, an infected soul can really wreck a person life and it can take months until you begin to feel better and that can only happen if you are able to realize that you have been infected.
Until this year I thought I was doing well, I let go of the past and I move on. My definition of letting was ignoring the situation; and moving on for me was cutting the situation or person out of my life. Don’t get me wrong sometimes its necessary, but most of the time our pride and ego get the best of us; at least in my case it was.
I’ve been infected with anger, resentment, and self-pity, doubts, fear, worry, self-righteousness, judgment, pride, ego you name it. It felt like I was dying, shopping didn’t help, blogging didn’t help, going out didn’t help, friends didn’t help, wine didn’t help, vacation didn’t help, money didn’t help nothing helped. When God wants to do a work in your life HE will close all doors except His.
Desperate for a breakthrough I started to listen to sermons after sermons, I mean I infused myself and drenched my soul with the word. I read books, I prayed, I fasted and cry out to God for help. Have ever prayed desperate? I needed a spiritual pepto-bismol. I open my spirit and fought off my pride and ego; during that process all I could do is let the illness runs its course. It felt like I was leaving the exorcist moment I was throwing up all type of bugs: anger, resentment, rage, judgment etc… I wanted it to stop, because you want to be convicted by the Holy Spirit, bring up painful memories, not give someone a piece of your mind when they get on your nerves, and apologize when you know you are right (well I believed I was)? I sure did not want to. But if I was going to feel better, make room for love, kindness, forgiveness and truly live a positive life I had to get rid of the bugs. If you ever had a stomach bug, you already know its no walk in the park but when you finally get rid of it you feel like a brand new person. I feel revived, if God started a work in you, I beg you don’t abort it; He is with you in the battle.
This Christmas all I want from God is a Praying Spirit so I can strengthen my inner woman.
Style memo: Still in the celebration spirit, I paired my red pants with my polka dots blazer for a more causal holiday look.
Shoes: Charlotte Russe
Clutch: Forever 21